I received the answer to this question during a mystical experience on November 11th, 2011. For several months, I had been “followed around” by repeating number patterns. I would look at my phone at precisely 11:11, or 2:22, or 4:44, etc. I would get the impulse to look up just as I drove by a house or building numbered 1111 or 2222. I would email someone or receive an email at 5:55, or 10:10. I would show up to appointments or someone would meet me at 12:12, etc. I would stop reading or turn precisely to page 333. It was happening so often I couldn’t ignore it.
I searched online and found out I was not alone. This pattern was being experienced by others, and many were calling it the “11:11 phenomenon“. 11:11 was by far the most common number pattern I was seeing, followed closely by 1:11 and 3:33.
These numbers were very significant to me, as the date of 11-11-11 was approaching.
11 + 11 + 11 = 33. Christ was supposed to have performed 33 miracles and to have had his death experience at age 33. At the time I was doing some research on Freemasonry for a graphic novel I was writing, and I had learned about the 33rd Degree Scottish Rite, and it being said that “all is revealed” at the 33rd level.
In 2011, I was 33 years old.
So I said to myself, “Self, if I do a shamanic ritual from 11:11pm to 3:33am beginning on 11-11-11, I wonder what will happen?”
The Universe responded with a download of epic significance. I learned (remembered) the fundamental reasoning behind our being here in this 3D time-space reality, why we are born helpless and having forgotten who we are, and just how excellent this Game can be, if we will allow it to be.
So let’s consider the viewpoint of Source, All That Is, or The One.
If one is an Infinite Being, vibrating in Ultimate Bliss, one very effective way to appreciate that Bliss would be to experience its opposite. If one is omniscient, omnipotent, and Eternal, it might be interesting to have the experience of being Finite, if only for a short while. Through contrast and limitation, The Infinite gains a much greater understanding and appreciation of Its limitless Self.
When we are born, we start as Infinite Beings in Ultimate Bliss, and we metaphorically “fall from Grace” by choosing to emerge into this reality with some pretty profound limits. We are born naked, cold and helpless, without teeth, and with seemingly no ability to survive on our own. We choose to forget most of what we once were, and to experience feeling helpless, alone and powerless. Any past or concurrent life experiences are filtered out in favor of one small single-point consciousness that must now feel its way through its new environment, learning by trial and error how to navigate this 3D Game.
“Ah!” says Source, “How magnificent!”
You see, to Source, the greatest amount of Appreciation is derived from experiencing the greatest amount of Contrast. What better way to experience Time (which undifferentiated Source does not experience), and the Process of Remembering Who We Really Are, than to set up a time-space reality, plunge oneself from Bliss to Helplessness and then find one’s way back to Bliss?
Finding our way back to Bliss is indeed one of the things we came here to do, and we all do it, whether we “wake up” before we have our death experience or not. Those of us who Awaken while still in this physical experience have one kind of journey, and those who do not remember they are Divine before death have another kind of experience. One is not “better” than the other. They are simply different ways of playing the Game, and each of our journeys is unique and priceless.
Source wants to experience this 3D Game in as many ways as possible. It adores the infinite variety of all of its Aspects, and this is the primary reason we don’t remember anything before birth. If we were born remembering who we were “before” (in quotes due to the fact that linear time is not experienced by Source), we would re-manifest some of the variables from our “previous” existence, and the result would be to limit the Variety that Source so adores. Starting with a clean slate is the best way for Source to ensure that our perspective is as unique as possible, and that our viewpoints are uncolored by preexisting experiences. Source wants us to be what we are going to be based primarily on the experiences we acquire in this lifetime.
So we are here to be Ourselves, and Source loves every experience and manifestation we contribute to the whole of Creation. Everything we live during our stay here on Planet Earth makes the collective experience of Source that much more varied and beautiful. Source takes it all in, and vibrates in Joy.
Of course, we with our single-point perspectives don’t always share the Joy that Source feels. At this time in the Game on Planet Earth, some of the predominant belief systems we get installed during childhood are based on Conditional Love, meaning we cannot feel good (love) unless certain conditions are met. We have judgments about things, people and circumstances being “good” or “bad”, which means we cannot feel “good” while looking at something we think is “bad”. Many of us also have worthiness issues which stem from our initial helplessness as children, during which we often learn to look to others for wellbeing and approval rather than drawing on our own innate Source of Love within. Because most humans practice Conditional Love, the majority of us learn to alter our behavior in order to meet the conditions required of us to receive love from our fellow humans. Great emphasis is placed on “sacrificing” what we might personally want in order to be dubbed worthy by an outside Authority, whether that be a person, an institution, or an idea of Deity which requires us to behave in certain ways or adhere to certain rules.
During my experience, I received confirmation that Source loves us Unconditionally, and that it wants us to be Ourselves, joyfully. Source does not require us to make sacrifices, to live up to expectations, or to follow rules in order to be worthy. We are worthy by virtue of our Being here, and we do not need to earn Love because we are Divine Beings made of Love. As I said in a previous post, the energy of Source is ecstatic, Ultimate Love and Bliss, meaning that Source itself is indistinguishable from Love. Since we are aspects of Source, we are made of Love, so how can we earn that which we are already? Love is something that comes naturally from within, not something one has to get from the outside.
Conditional Love is a type of consciousness which requires sacrifice, because it is impossible to meet external requirements 100% of the time without sacrificing the experience you might prefer to be having were you not compelled to meet those requirements. Conditional Love is what humans practice when they are not fully Awakened to their own nature as Divine Beings made of Love, because anyone who does not know that Love comes from within is going to try to control people, circumstances and things in order to feel good. Conditional Love dictates that we withhold approval when others do not live up to our expectations, and that we alter our own behavior to receive approval from others. It’s a lot of work living this way, because one has no direct control over how others act and feel.
At the end of my experience, I was given the message that “The time for Sacrifice is over.” This coincided with the moment I looked up at the clock and saw the time: 3:33am.
People who study the special significance of numbers often speak of the number 1 being the number of Beginnings, the greatest number, symbolic of ourselves and of Source or “The One”. The number 2 can refer to the descent into time-space reality, where The One splits into Opposites and assumes Duality (light/dark, male/female, on/off). 2 is the number of Process and Partnership, and to me is indicative of being on a Journey or in the process of Manifesting something. The number 3 is considered by many to be the number of Completion and Consummation. It symbolizes the “Divine Child” of God or Source. This Divine Child can mean a Manifestation come to fruition, or it can mean the Reconciliation of Duality, where the opposites once again become One. 3 is a number of wholeness, healing and actualization.
When I saw the 3:33 synchronicity and heard that “the time for Sacrifice is over,” I felt an astonishing feeling of relief and release flow through me. To me, this message meant that I no longer needed to play the Game from the Conditional standpoint of needing to earn worthiness through sacrifice and self-punishment. I was now free to reconcile my experience with that of Source and begin living a more joyful, magical life as a Blended Being, secure in my own worthiness and in the knowledge that the Source and I are One. I was now free to feel Unconditional Love if I so desired: Love that is not dependent on conditions or “deservingness”.
Once I had that realization, the Universe added this amusing note:
“That’s right. You can stop crucifying yourself now.”
When I heard this, I literally laughed out loud. Because the number 3 and its doubled Master Number, 33, have such familiar connections to Christ and Christianity, and because I was 33, and the numbers 11-11-11 added up to 33, this little message was the perfect punchline to end the ritual and the evening. Many of us who have been raised with Christian beliefs are all too familiar with the paradigm of sacrifice and unworthiness. Within this paradigm, there are many conditions one must fulfill in order to be worthy of being “saved” from our “fallen” condition. The idea that we are all fundamentally worthy and that we are in fact Divine is not compatible with the system of beliefs I was raised in, and this message from Source was a wonderful confirmation that I had transcended that paradigm. I had reconciled with Myself, and I was now free to feel self-love and worthiness at all times, whether I was living up to anyone else’s expectations or not. I was and had always been fundamentally and unquestionably Worthy.
Since this experience, it has been much easier for me to see myself and play the Game as a beloved “Divine Child” of Source, a being who is becoming fully integrated and Aware of my true nature. I am GodSource in a human body, here to live fully the collection of attributes that I have collected since my birth, and to continue to refine myself, my definitions and beliefs, and to have Joy in the experience. I have come into this Game of my own accord, and I was willing to forget my Divine identity for the sake of having the purest experience of human individuality possible. I do not need to operate in Conditional Love, because my Source of Wellbeing is within me. I do not need to earn Worthiness, for Worthiness has always been mine. I can now get on with pursuing whatever will bring me the most Joy, because I am free, just as all Aspects of Source are free to Be.
In future posts I will be speaking in more detail about number and timestamp synchronicities, and about how to play the Game in Joy. I hope those of you who have come to Play here will find what I have learned useful, and I welcome your reflections in the comments below.